I could scream right now!

My car needs new brakes. I'm in the process of getting them fixed, but uncontrollable circumstances keep knocking me down. I haven't been to the gym in days. I'm feeling blubbery. I feel like a big, blubbery pile of pale fat. On top of that, my boyfriend and I just got in a fight. Not because it was my fault, but because he's stupid. I mean, how can a person be that stupid? I don't want to over think things. I just want to be on the treadmill. I feel better about myself when I'm covered in sweat, my muscles are working double-time, and my heart rate is at 185. It might sound cheesy, but I feel at home at the gym. Nothing else matters except finishing another mile. When I go this long without working out, my anxiety gets the best of me. All I can do is worry and stress. It's 1:34 am. He's asleep next to me. Usually, I look over and smile to myself at how cute he is. He's not cute tonight. Tonight I don't really feel "love". If I had my car I'd be working out right now. When I work out, I picture myself tan, 50 or 60lbs thinner, and toned. I'm in my own imaginary world where I can casually walk around in a bikini, sip on healthy smoothies, and relax by a pool.

I finally got my very own blender. My metabolism is sped up so much now, that 10 minutes after I eat, I'm starving again. Sipping on a fruit smoothie helps curb the urge to order pizza. I also started taking ginseng. It's already made me more productive at work. I reorganized half the store in the past couple of days. So, it's not like I'm being entirely inactive, I just would much rather be huffing and puffing, releasing all my problems out into the gym, and leaving them there.

I'm trying to start a "like" page on Facebook. But everything is harder on a smartphone. Once I get to a computer, I'll have a page up and running in a matter of minutes.

That fight was bad last night. It's all I can think about. Also, I'm scared I'm gaining weight because I'm not working out. I could scream right now!

It's time for some living room Yoga.