I had a long talk with my boss today about God. See, I admitted to him that I'm anxious and depressed. He started to explain how God tests people. He said that if you're going through tough times it's only because God has amazing things planned for you. This helps me a lot because I've always wondered why I'm supposed to thank God when bad things happen. Because why would God want bad things to happen? Why would He want me to have a breakdown in the middle of the Wells Fargo parking lot, cursing, screaming, and crying? Why would He want me to feel like giving up? He wants you to trust in Him. When I give up and give things to Him, things start to work out. When I try to do things on my own, without asking God, I fall flat on my face, in front of the world.
I want to believe in God. I have my own testimony and my own reasons for why I read His word and why I pray. HOWEVER, I have my doubts, which I know is OK. I don't necessarily believe in EVERYTHING the Christian religion tells us. I don't believe that Jesus's birth is when they say it is. By researching Paganism, you can learn that the dates were switched around so that people could celebrate Christ at a different time of year. That information makes me weary to trust everything.
I guess the bottom line is that I believe in God, not religion. I believe in praying, and doing good, and giving to others. I don't believe in the structure of having to do certain things the church says. Everyone I talk to about their beliefs all have their own views about what they read or believe. The most important thing about faith is having any at all. That is one thing all religions have in common. We all believe in something. As long as you know there is someone above that's got your back, you're living a good life with meaning.
On another note:
I'm going to do 100 crunches and call it a night.
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