I'm an extremely emotional person. Things hit me harder than most people. The thing that gets to me the most is my stress. I'm always worried about something. Even when I have a plan to solve all my problems and I feel like I should be able to relax, I just know there's something wrong. I know I forgot to lock or check something at the store. I know I left a mess. It's just the way my brain works.
So I'm sitting at home, watching tv, thinking about all the things I can't control, when suddenly, I get hungry. But I'm not really hungry. I just need something I can control that satisfies me. I like large portions of everything. When I drank, I drank A LOT. When I buy anything, I shop in bulk. When I eat, I fill up. It is just my personality. Why have a little when you can have a lot?
I'm stressed out about a million things, so I eat a sandwich and forget. I used to buy half-gallons of vodka every other day. I used to drink my problems away. Now I eat them.
Knowing and acknowledging this should help me. If I only eat when my stomach is growling, I think I can break the habit.
I need to hang up mirrors around the apartment so I can see myself stuffing my face. Thinking about it disgusts me. Note to self: buy mirrors.
No comments:
Post a Comment